


Once More, With Flirting

by Cloud_Lightning



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14607636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud_Lightning/pseuds/Cloud_Lightning
Summary: In which Bill didn’t die, and everyone gets a chance to tease Eve about the tissue stuck under her armpit.





	Once More, With Flirting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vallern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vallern/gifts), [CalmSurrender](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalmSurrender/gifts).



> ayeeeee, look at me jumped into another show. a really awesome and such masterpiece show, god i love this show. for connie because i heard youre the one that told rara about this show, thanks hoe, and for rara for making me to write thise, such productive day
> 
>  
> 
> ~~me, posted 2 fics within 24 hours? wrow.~~

Villanelle sighed dreamily as she watched Eve sat in front of the Chinese gentleman. Good thing Eve used the belt she needed, the dress was incomplete without it. Even without her hearing Eve’s complaint from the dressing room, she was tempted to peek on Eve but clearly Eve needed help with the wardrobe department, Villanelle knew Eve needed a belt the moment she took that dress. So Villanelle step back and find the belt, an early gift for Eve.

“Hey you,” the manager yelled at Villanelle. “I paid you to serve, not to standing around.”

“Yes sir,” Villanelle smiled awkwardly, trying to get into a character as the new waitress being caught slacking off on her first day. “I’m sorry,” she said again with German accent. It has been such a long time since the last time she used a German accent, her skills were getting rusty. Konstantin would tease her if he heard her with such a lame accent.

The manager sneered and shooed Villanelle away.

She smiled politely even though she was imagining how to kill him with a fork. Or maybe she would kill him with a mayonnaises bottle. Anything is a weapon if you're creative enough.

Villanelle served the table behind Eve so that Eve doesn’t see her but she can see the gorgeous wild-hair woman.

“You got tissue stuck under your armpit,” the Chinese gentleman said.

Villanelle hid her snort behind the tray, and while Eve was busy taking out the tissue, she ran from the table before Eve turns around. Just in case if the beautiful lady heard her just now.

Good thing she followed the Chinese gentleman, instead of Eve’s partner. And also, it was such a luck that the previous waitress couldn’t work today.

Just kidding, she killed her of course.

Hopefully, Konstantin won’t get too mad. She did it all for following Eve.

Villanelle heard the conversation between Eve and the Chinese gentleman, but she was too busy admiring Eve’s face to actually hear it.

Oh no, she should do something about that later.

Well, she could kidnap the Chinese gentleman and torture him for information.

Villanelle raised her eyebrow when Eve said.

“I’m sorry, a room?”

Did the Chinese gentleman just ask Eve to go with him to his room? Huh, not such a gentleman after all.

What a dick.

Before Villanelle move toward Eve’s table, a customer called her.

“What kind of woman do you think I am?” Eve asked with slightly raised voice.

Villanelle was looking at the Chinese dick, no offense to another Chinese man out there, she meant this particular person, like she wanted to kill him.

Which she will, later, if he was no longer able to contact Eve.

“I’m sorry,” the Chinese dick apologized. Good. “I just want to get to know you.”

“Not this way,” Eve snapped. “And I’m married anyway!”

Villanelle pouted when she heard that, well at least Eve is faithful. And she understand why Eve liked her husband, he has a very nice mustache.

Now if only Eve’s sense of fashion is as good as her sense for a partner.

“Okay, okay,” the Chinese dick said. “Calm down, please, doesn’t make a scene.”

Eve looked around, good thing Villanelle already hid behind the pillar or else it would cause a scene. “Okay,” she said. “Okay.”

Villanelle nodded her head as Eve comb her hair, making it even wilder than before. If only she can touch it, maybe it’s like combing a lioness mane.

But, she did that once. And it was not a pleasant feeling because the lioness was growling and the tamer screaming loudly because Villanelle wasn’t supposed to get inside the cage, let alone touch the mane.

She wondered if Eve’s mane is silkier than the lioness’? Or maybe the same?

“But I need that flash drive,” Eve said half whining and half annoyed.

Eve was not really a good spy, it seems. Since when England was low on spies, they made a pencil-pusher as a spy?

“Then I want you to come with me to my room,” the Chinese dick said firmly.

Eve growled.

Oh, good to know that Eve has claws. Not just a little kitten.

Suddenly, the Chinese dick’s phone beeps on the table. He took it and sighed loudly. “See, you just wasted our precious time. If only you agree…”

“No.”

“I haven’t finish…”

“No, I will not go with you, not to your room, not to anywhere else,” Eve said.

The Chinese dick sighed again.

Villanelle poured the water into the customer’s glass while keeping eye on them. Well, she had to give it to him, this dick really knows how to make a hard bargain.

The Chinese dick looked at Eve for few seconds. “I give you another chance, meet me again tomorrow, here and at the exact time,” he raised his hand when Eve tried to speak. “And please, find another dress. Hopefully, the one that will not make me see a tissue stuck under your armpit.”

“How dare you!” Eve stood up.

“Go on now,” the Chinese dick waved his hand, uninterested in Eve. “And remember,” he pulled something from underneath the table. “If you want this, then you have to get it from me.”

Villanelle raised her eyebrow. Is that all? Huh, not such a challenge for her.

Maybe she could take it from him and give it to Eve? Along with her other presents?

While Villanelle was thinking the best way to kill the Chinese dick without making a fuss, Eve walked past by her in a hurry, face beats red.

And that was Villanelle’s cue.

“Jesus, you again!” the manager yelled. “How many times…”

Villanelle threw the apron to the manager’s face. “I quit.”

 

* * *

 

For such a lady with short legs, Eve sure walks fast. Maybe it was because she was angry.

“Bill, stop laughing at me!” Eve said in anger. “You didn’t tell me about the fucking tissue, you asshole!”

Villanelle snickered, even from a distance she can hear Eve’s tantrum.

“Well now I need to find another dress,” Eve said. “Yes, Bill, he said I need another dress!”

Villanelle hid behind the pole when Eve stopped moving.

“Yes, Bill, a dress where he can’t see a tissue stuck under my armpit,” Eve said with a sigh. “You dick, stop laughing! Well, I’m glad the disaster that is a tissue stuck to my armpit made your night,” she sighed in relieved. “Oh thank god, Bill. Thank you, yes I trust your judgment for wardrobe.”

Eve started walking again, and so does Villanelle.

“Yes, preferably the one which he can’t see my armpit,” Eve sighed, again. “Ok, thank you, Bill.”

Villanelle was stroking her chin, thinking maybe she should buy Eve another dress? Or should she return to the hotel and kill the Chinese dick and make him dickless?

“No, I’m just gonna head back to the hotel,” Eve stopped at the red light; she looked so small in a crowd. But even so, Villanelle can only see her. “I just want to sleep, drink some wine, and burn all the tissues in my room. No Bill, I’m just kidding about the tissue part.”

The light turned green, Eve marched forward with the crowd.

Villanelle kept a safe distance where she could hear Eve’s conversation with Bill but at the same time, Eve would not see her, all the way to the hotel.

After she saw Eve entered her room, Villanelle smiled widely and put her hand inside her trouser pocket.

Time to use her picklocking skill.

 

* * *

 

“What do you mean he’s dead?!”

Eve’s scream from another room wake Villanelle. Hurriedly, she grabbed the glass at the nightstand.

“I didn’t know that!”

On a second thought, she doesn’t need that. She was sure Eve’s scream could be heard to the end of the corridor. Villanelle put down the glass softly and rubbed her eyes.

“Okay, okay,” Eve said in a hurry. “I’m going there! Is Bill already there? Okay, okay, thank you.”

Villanelle pouted, she wanted to be the one that kills the Chinese dick.

Oh well, at least last night she was able to peek Eve while she was sleeping.

But it was boring after five minutes, even though Eve was very cute. She drooled on her pillow, but she was still beautiful.

Villanelle waited until she could not hear Eve’s footstep before she jumped out of the bed.

 

* * *

 

Villanelle sighed as she saw the crime scene, from the chatter she heard around, the kill was messy. A shot to the head, blood and brain splattered everywhere. She tsked, that’s why she prefers knives or choking, especially the asthmatic one.

“What do you mean the flash drive is gone?” Eve asked.

“Well they’ve searched the whole room,” Bill said. “But there was nothing.”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Eve cursed. “Oh god Bill, I’m so sorry, if only I agree last night.”

“And maybe someone else might die,” Bill pulled Eve into a side hug. “It’s fine. We’ll find another way.”

“Do you think it was the same woman?” Eve asked as she snuggled deeply into Bill’s side.

Villanelle pouted and slurped her milkshake more loudly. Well, it was cute, but she wanted Eve to hug her and not Bill. Also, she never kills anyone that messy.

Oh, wait. She did. But no gun though, so it was different.

“We don’t know that,” Bill said. “There wasn’t any recording or anything like that.”

“Damn it, why it is so hard to place a goddamn security camera?” Eve cursed.

Bill laughed and squeezed Eve’s shoulder. “So what should I do with the dress?”

Eve groaned. “Can you return it to the store?”

“Nope.”

“Damn it.”

“Well, you can use it for your date with Nico,” Bill waved the bag in front of Eve’s face. “So your husband will not see a tissue stuck under your armpit.”

“Asshole,” Eve slapped Bill’s chest. “But seriously, you should turn it back.”

Bill sighed. “I’ll just give it to my friend then. And try to find something useful about this case.”

“I’m so sorry Bill,” Eve sighed. “And thank you so much.”

“It’s okay, boss,” Bill smiled. “You look like hell, by the way. And when the last time you eat? You just eyed that bread like a tiger eyeing its prey,” he laughed.

“Gee, thanks. I haven’t eaten anything since last night.”

“Go and eat something then,” Bill said. “I don’t want you to steal my food later.”

“Alright, alright.”

 

* * *

 

The restaurant was not crowded but not empty as well, and Eve chose to sit in the middle of the room. Villanelle smiled, smart move, it would provide more challenge for an assassin to kill her. Or if the assassin dumb enough, it would expose them.

Villanelle knew ten ways to kill Eve even without have to get inside the room.

It was a bold move, Villanelle was observing from a near distance, albeit she was sitting outside the restaurant, but still. She chewed her gum slowly when she saw Eve looking at the phone while biting her nails, she wondered if Eve just found any news about the killing.

Villanelle saw a lady checking her out from the corner of her eyes, too bad her sole focus today was for Eve and Eve only.

The waitress served Eve’s food, right on cue Villanelle’s stomach growled. Oh yes, she needed to eat something.

Villanelle scrunched her nose when she saw a man holding a syringe, and it has been five minutes since Eve walked into the room. And the man never looked at anything or anyone else.

Villanelle rolled her eyes. Amateurs.

Just as the man made a move, Villanelle walked towards Eve’s table and slung her hand over her shoulder.

“Hi baby,” Villanelle said softly, keeping eye contact with the man. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Eve screamed loudly, making everyone in the restaurant looked at their way and the man took few steps back.

“Baby, baby, baby,” Villanelle said apologetically as she walked to the other side of the table and sat there. “I’m so sorry, I know you’re mad…”

“Who the fuck…”

Villanelle took Eve’s hand at the table. “Play along,” she whispered. “Please.”

Eve was ready to yell again, but then Villanelle squeezed her hand. Hard. And then she saw a man wearing a black suit and holding a syringe under the table at the back of the restaurant. Oh shit.

Eve cleared her throat. “Where were you,” she gritted her teeth. “Baby?”

Villanelle smiled charmingly. “It was supposed to be a secret, but I was actually preparing for your present,” she said with glee. “For our anniversary.”

“Present?” Eve blinked. “Anniversary?”

“Oh no,” Villanelle put her free hand on her chest. “Baby, don’t tell me you forget? I know I messed up real bad, but…” she used the fake tears for an effect. “But…”

Eve gritted her teeth. “Oh no,” she said as she wiped Villanelle’s crocodile tears. “Don’t cry baby, I’m just messing with you.”

Villanelle sighed in relief, and then she looked around the room, the man already left. She knew who that was; she can deal with him later. “She’s not mad at me folks! Whew!”

“Um, congrats?” A lady next to their table said.

“Oh, thank you,” Villanelle raised their joining hand proudly. “This lady is a catch,” she looked at Eve with a wide smile on her face. “A real catch,” she kissed the back of Eve’s hand.

“You sure are,” Eve said tentatively.

 

* * *

 

Villanelle smirked as Eve pulled her to the bathroom. They really had a thing for a bathroom.

“Okay, first, who are you?” Eve asked. “What do you want? How do you know about that assassin? And stop sniffing at me!” Eve pushed Villanelle away. “You’re not a dog!”

“But you smelled so good,” she pouted.

“Look lady, just because you saved my life, doesn’t mean…” Eve blinked few times. Her face turned into white in a matter of time. “You…” she took few steps back.

“Oh good, you remember me,” Villanelle smiled widely. “I don’t want you to forget me.”

Just as Eve open her mouth, Villanelle cover Eve’s mouth with her hand.

“Don’t scream, that man still outside,” Villanelle said. “Or you could, but then you’ll die. And I really wish you didn't die,” she pouted. "Or at least let me be the one that kills you."  
  
Eve's eyes widen in terror, Villanelle just smirking. "I'm just kidding, well, sort of."  
  
Eve tried to say something, but her voice was muffled by Villanelle's palm.  
  
"I'm going to move my palm from your mouth," Villanelle said. "But don't scream, okay?"  
  
Eve was panting, her grip on Villanelle’s wrist getting weaker and then she nodded slightly.  
  
Villanelle smiled. “Thank you,” she took one step back.  
  
“Who gave you the order to kill Kasia?!” Eve whispered-yelled.  
  
“Baby…”  
  
“I’m not your baby,” Eve snapped.  
  
The goofy smile on Villanelle’s face was gone in a matter of second. “Very well, but do you really want to waste your precious moments with me with such mundane questions?”  
  
“Answer me,” Eve hissed.  
  
Villanelle raised her hands. “Okay, okay, And as for the answer, I can’t answer that question.”  
  
“Are you even…”  
  
“You told me to answer your question,” Villanelle shrugged. “And I just did.”  
  
“You son of a…”  
  
“Bitch,” Villanelle said. “She is such a bitch, my mother, so that is not an insult to me.”  
  
Eve rubbed her temple tiredly. “Did you kill the Chinese delegation?”

“Nope,” Villanelle said as she hopped into the sink. “If I kill him, it would not be that messy.”

“Kasia?”

“Oh yes, that,” Villanelle laughed once. “I wanted to give you a surprise.”

“What, you think killing them all wasn’t good enough surprise for me?” Eve raised her voice.

“Wow, you sure like to raise your voice huh?” Villanelle sucked in a deep breath. “Don’t think about calling Bill,” she smirked when she saw how Eve tried to move her hand subtlety but Eve was really bad. Eve still has a long way to master the art.

Eve looked at her in horror.

“Look, I know you want to capture me, but if you do that you will never find the flash drive you’re looking for,” Villanelle said. “And also that assassin will kill you after they arrest me.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Eve walked back and forth, biting her fingernail.

Villanelle swung her legs, like a child while waiting for their mother. “I’m your only option to get out of here alive and to find that flash drive.”

“Well I can,” Eve stopped moving. “I can tell the waitress about that man and…”

“You’ll be dead the moment you step out of this bathroom without me,” Villanelle said. “The only reason he didn’t attack you is that he thinks we’re involved.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Eve blinked few times.

“Involved, as in we have a relationship.”

“I know what involved means!” Eve sassed.

Villanelle sulked as she heard that. “But we did involve, you’re trying to catch me.”

Eve sucked in a deep breath while looking at Villanelle, smirking widely and eyes gleaming like a child at the candy store. “Fine,” she said finally.

Villanelle raised both of her eyebrows.

“But you need to do something with your hair,” Eve said. “Make it looks like we just had sex here.”

Villanelle held her breath for few seconds before letting it go with happy sighed.

Eve slapped Villanelle’s hands when she tried to touch her hair. “You have your own hair.”

Villanelle pouted.

 

* * *

 

Villanelle doesn’t actually want to leave Eve like that after they were at the safe distance from the assassin, but it was a race against time. She needed to send Eve’s suitcase back so it will arrive at the same time with Eve.

It wasn’t that hard to kill the assassin and took the flash drive back. She killed him with his own method a taste for his own medicine, so to speak.

Villanelle sighed deeply as she saw Eve’s suitcase, with the flash drive inside the perfume’s box.

She kissed the notes and put it neatly inside the suitcase.

_Sorry baby,_

_Give me a call sometimes,_

_xxx_

 

It wasn’t her number, it was Nico’s.

 

* * *

 

Villanelle knew Konstantin was wary to give this mission to her, but Villanelle was the only one knew about the situation with Eve’s team. Usually, she doesn’t really like the stalking mission, but Eve was another story. She tried to stop smiling, but Villanelle was sure she failed miserably.

Like she just did when she saw Eve and Nico at the busy street of London.

“Eve, hi!” Villanelle yelled happily with such flawless British accent as if she was born with it.

Oh, it was fun to see how Eve’s face went pale.

“Did you get my present?” Villanelle asked as she pulled unmoving Eve into her hug. She inhaled deeply, pouted when she doesn’t smell her perfume on Eve.

Nico was looking at Eve and then Villanelle with forehead crinkled.

“I’m sorry where’s my manner,” Villanelle shook Nico’s hand. “I’m Jodie, Eve’s friend from work.”

“It was nice to meet you,” he smiled.

“I’m the one that found Eve’s suitcase,” Villanelle put her hand on her chest. “When I found it, all of the cloths were gone, and I’m just… I’m so sorry, Eve.”

“Oh, are you the one that brought all of those cloths?” Nico asked, interested.

Someone accidentally bumped into Villanelle. Instead of chocking that person to the death, Villanelle tsked in annoyance.

“Yes, I am,” Villanelle nodded. “I heard about Eve’s mission, so I thought she needed some fancy dress, so I brought them all.”

“The black dress is lovely, I saw it when she’s unpacking the suitcase before I left earlier,” Nico smiled. “But, I heard about the tissue fiasco,” Nico nudged Eve but she was not moving.

 Villanelle pouted. “Yes, I heard about that too, such a shame.”

“Eve, honey?” Nico looked over at his wife with concern when she doesn’t give any reaction about the tissue thing. “You okay?”

“Oh, Eve must be really shocked because I rarely got free time to roam around London like this,” Villanelle stage-whispered. “I’m actually working for the MI6.”

“I see,” Nico nodded his head. “So how do you know my wife?”

“Eve is a better storyteller than me,” Villanelle said. “I’m sure she’ll tell you.”

“Well, thank you for helping Eve with the wardrobe department,” Nico shook Villanelle’s hand. “You should help Eve more often.”

“I wish I could,” Villanelle smirked. Eve has such beautiful body, she doesn’t mind to help Eve with her outfit. “But, you know what they said,” she patted her purse. “Duty calls. It was really nice to finally meet you, Nico.”

Villanelle hugged Eve once more before finally walked away from the Polastri couple, blended in with the crowd.

Today was a good day.

Villanelle sang God Save the Queen as she navigated herself around London street.

**Author's Note:**

> [usually im lurking around here](http://nightwhite13.tumblr.com/)


End file.
